by Jerry Alatalo
hat kind of life lessons become presented when people have an awareness that millions of men, women and children around the Earth are suffering under extremely difficult conditions, and repairing such a reality isn’t the top priority of humanity, in particular those called leaders? As a result of wars and violence, at this very moment people are struggling to survive in makeshift housing – perhaps none whatsoever – without the most basic necessities of food and water, while winter weather makes their struggle even more perilous.
How is it that wars and violence have been ever-present on this Earth, with heart-breaking negative consequences beyond measure in full view, and yet there is not unanimity in publicly stating that ending war must be humanity’s top priority and most sought after goal? Men and women throughout history have spoken and written, and worked with others toward bringing about mankind’s supreme accomplishment: peace on this Earth.
Yet wars and violence – with their saddening human consequences – persist. Highly intelligent people become involved in scientifically based research and study for identifying factors and conditions, trends and expert opinions, about future events in the environmental, political, medical, and engineering fields among others. How many people are now involved in the same way to predict the timeframe for when peace on Earth will become a reality?
What will it take to accomplish true peace on Earth; an accomplishment which would go down in history as the human species’ proudest; guaranteeing future generations will never again return to warfare? Could it be as simple as applying the concept woven into the title of musical artist Lenny Kravitz’s popular song “Let Love Rule”? Perhaps the billions of sincere words spoken and written by benevolent men and women through the centuries in trying to build and leave a better world, when distilled, amounts to the simple idea and suggestion to let love rule.
Perhaps the information shared by a woman in response to questions about her near death experiences can assist in helping to determine if love is the remedy for curing humanity of its chronic, far-too-long suffered disease called war.
Thank you to the Near Death Experience Research Foundation – nderf.org
At the time of your experience, was there an associated life-threatening event?
Yes. Childbirth. After a normal and relatively easy childbirth, I began hemorrhaging uncontrollably. I had to have emergency surgery to remove my uterus, but that didn’t stop the bleeding. The medical term is DIC. I lost so much blood that I went into cardiac arrest and had seizures and a stroke. CPR was performed, but at one point I was no longer responding and was pronounced clinically dead. My family was notified. That was part of the experience. After I came back to life in this world, I was still very unstable, still bleeding, unconscious and needing a second operation. I needed a special window of opportunity to present itself before surgery could be performed with at least a 50% chance of survival. I was kept alive and eventually had the surgery, but I was in a coma and the prognosis was not good. At several times I had no brain activity at all. I had several separate experiences during this time. Clinical death (cessation of breathing or heart function or brain function). I had at least four different separate and distinct experiences that I remember. I don’t know what medical conditions surrounded which experiences. I coded at least twice; at least once I was pronounced dead and unable to be resuscitated, and my family was informed I had passed. After I came back to life, I was in a coma for several weeks. I believe I had some of my experiences during the times I coded and during the coma as well.
I was hemorrhaging faster than blood could be transfused. My blood platelet count, which normally should be at 800,000 or so, was down to 80. Every part of my body was bleeding out; therefore there was no blood oxygen to get to my heart, brain, or any vital organs. I’m amazed and humbled that I’m even alive today. I coded twice; at least once I was pronounced dead after efforts to revive me failed. I went into cardiac arrest; I had strokes and seizures, and I was in a coma several weeks following. Because of my fragile condition, there was no way for doctors to know how much damage my brain, heart, kidneys, and other organs had sustained. They estimated that IF I ever woke up from the coma, I would face at least dialysis, some measure of brain damage, and could expect to be in the hospital rehabilitation for at least six to eight months after waking up. If I woke up, that is. The amazing thing is that when I woke up from the coma December 7, 2001, and could undergo testing, everything in my body seemed healed. My brain functioned; my organs kicked into gear, and on December 12, 2001, I was released with a clean bill of health. Another amazing aspect was that my soon-to-be ex-husband from whom I’d been separated for seven months, was still my medical surrogate and had tried to have my life support terminated so he could have custody of our two young daughters. All around the medical trauma was unbelievable drama. He kept taking my sons, siblings, and mom to court while I was in the hospital fighting to stay alive! It was madness, but I was thankfully enjoying life on the other side.
How do you consider the content of your experience?
The experience included: Out of body experience
Did you feel separated from your body?
Yes. While my body and the event happening with me was in Florida, I was with my Uncle Bill in Pennsylvania when he died. Unknown to any of my relatives in Florida, my uncle had gone into the hospital for elective surgery to remove some polyps. It was supposed to be a simple almost routine surgery, but he died. I was with him in his surgery room while together we watched the surgical team cover his dead body. Inexplicably, as we later learned, he had hemorrhaged just like I had. There’s a part of me that still believes maybe he took my place for me. None of my relatives in Florida knew anything about it, but I did. After I woke up from the coma and relatives came to visit, I realized they didn’t know what had happened with him.
I clearly left my body and existed outside it.
How did your highest level of consciousness and alertness during the experience compare to your normal everyday consciousness and alertness?
More consciousness and alertness than normal. I will also answer number 10 below: I lost awareness of my body AND I clearly left my body and existed outside of it. Oddly enough, I never saw my body during my NDEs; while I was with my uncle we seemed to have a defined entity like bodies, but that was the only time I experienced this kind of existence outside my body. Also, I had an out-of-body experience that was altogether different than the NDEs, when I was aware of everything going on in the hospital room, aware of myself and I think conscious or semi-conscious, before I bled out and died and went into a coma. Apparently I was thrashing a lot and heavily dosed with morphine so every time I began to come out of the morphine I thrashed around, so I was strapped down to help keep me still. At one point I was screaming that they had no right to strap me down and I was trying to get out and screaming and acting crazy, when suddenly I popped right out of myself, looked myself in the eyes and said, “Jennifer, you’re acting like Lynda Blair in the Exorcist,” whereupon I paused, laughed out loud, and rejoining my body, flopped back down unconscious.
At what time during the experience were you at your highest level of consciousness and alertness?
I was in my highest level of consciousness and alertness when I was physically dead. i had at least four separate and distinct NDEs where I was very much “conscious and alert” on the other side, but either clinically dead or brain dead and in a coma on this side, and at least one out-of-body experience when I was physically conscious.
Were your thoughts speeded up?
Did time seem to speed up or slow down?
Everything seemed to be happening at once; or time stopped or lost all meaning Time lost its meaning, except when I was given the choice to look at the light or to come back. Even then time wasn’t the same as we understand it. Universal thoughts, feelings, love, awareness, was suspended in time, but happening. The event with my uncle happened at seemingly normal pace, not fast or slow, just matter-of-fact pace, the first NDE when I found myself suddenly “awake” and suspended seemed to have no time, but thoughts were normally paced, it seemed.
Were your senses more vivid than usual?
Incredibly more vivid.
Please compare your vision during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
It’s a different kind of vision. The vision during the experience isn’t like seeing with the eyes; it’s seeing through your heart, with your heart. Eyes aren’t necessary. So vision is feeling, knowing, sensing through an expansion of love. Everything is incredibly clear. After the experience, when I woke up from the coma, every was incredibly crisp, but I saw through my heart which was and is the true vision center.
Please compare your hearing during the experience to your everyday hearing that you had immediately prior to the time of the experience.
Hearing wasn’t hearing with ears, but understanding. I didn’t physically “hear” anything that I know of, I simply understood things. I guess that could be construed as hearing clearly and thoroughly. I could understand all languages, all voices, all thoughts of those who had passed before me. It was weird. We were like a river of flowing undefined body of water, as if I had just been poured out of my vessel that contained me here, and into the whole undefined, infinite body
Did you seem to be aware of things going on elsewhere?
Yes, and the facts have been checked out.
Did you pass into or through a tunnel?
The experience included: Presence of deceased persons
Did you see any beings in your experience?
I sensed their presence.
Did you encounter or become aware of any deceased (or alive) beings?
Yes. I hesitantly probed for my dad, who died in 1997, but I got the feeling that he stayed away purposely because he knew if he came to me that I would go with him. I was pretty certain that he was sending me a message, though, that he wanted to play a few more peaceful games of golf on the perfect course before I came to disrupt his game, and wanted to kick me back to this life! I strongly connected and became one with the people who had been on Sept 11th’s flight 93, or rather with their souls. They were formless like I was, a part of the infinite pool of wholeness and oneness. They seemed to consider themselves to be survivors of the tragic disaster, joyful, humble, flowing and in flight. But all souls were there, all one. Since I had several distinct experiences, they differed somewhat. When I saw my Uncle, I actually saw him and we had some physical shape and form in spirit. I can only guess that we must have been in the in-between and before going on to join the universal wholeness, the ocean of One Spirit. The encounter was brief. Uncle Bill was going where I had been already and came back from. In some ways, I’ve often felt that he took my place. I was allowed to come back, so he went. But he came back and stayed in my hospital room with me three days and three nights after I awoke from my coma, until I was all clear health-wise.
The experience included: Void
The experience included: Darkness
The experience included: Unearthly light
Did you see, or feel surrounded by, a brilliant light?
A light clearly of mystical or other-worldly origin.
Did you see an unearthly light?
Did you seem to enter some other, unearthly world?
A clearly mystical or unearthly realm. I didn’t sense a specific entrance to anywhere. I was just there. Either in my Uncle’s hospital room, which was not unearthly, or in the Oneness, or in the void, or near the light that I chose not to peek at. They were all a little different. All except the hospital room were unearthly, though.
The experience included: Strong emotional tone
What emotions did you feel during the experience?
Peace, curiosity, wonderment, freedom, love and more.
Did you have a feeling of peace or pleasantness?
Incredible peace or pleasantness.
Did you have a feeling of joy?
Did you feel a sense of harmony or unity with the universe?
I felt united or one with the world.
The experience included: Special knowledge or purpose
Did you suddenly seem to understand everything?
Everything about the universe. Yes, everything seemed to be clear; I understood all languages, death and life, God, Creation, everything, love, peace, sorrow, joy, I knew all things, understood all things.
Did scenes from your past come back to you?
No. Only in the sense that the events defined in a way who was there. The events themselves were not particularly defined or linear; only the identities which were made up of the events that represented them.
Did scenes from the future come to you?
No. I answered no to this because there were no really definite scenes, although during some of the time when I made the choice to return, I did have some visions of my sons and my little daughter and another child (my baby) without a face. I had a sense that my little girls and my sons still needed me, and there was something very important. When the thought, “I still have way too much to do” went through my being, it seemed to be something about my sons in particular.
The experience included: Boundary
Did you reach a boundary or limiting physical structure?
Uncertain. During the NDE where I thought about “seeing a light” and was aware of a choice to see it or not; I wasn’t really aware of a choice per say, I just knew if I looked to see it, I wouldn’t return, and in that moment chose not to look, and to fight to return. Later, after I awoke from the coma, I wondered for a time and was concerned whether I had defied “God” by returning to life. I didn’t really see a boundary but one was there. It wasn’t limiting and it wasn’t physical, but it was a place to cross over forever.
Did you come to a border or point of no return?
I came to a barrier that I was not permitted to cross; or was sent back against my will. I was suspended in time and space, it seemed, aware, existing of thought, and I thought about the stories or books I’d heard of about people “seeing the light” and then returning to their bodies. I knew that if I looked, and there was such a thing, I would be able to see it, and for a split-second I was curious to confirm such stories. In the same instant, I knew that if I did, it would be all over. I would be gone for good and never to return. In that instant, I scolded and urged myself, saying, “NO WAY! I’m not EVEN curious! (even though I was, I told myself otherwise). I’m only 40 years old! I have WAY too much to do!” whereupon I struggled to go back and fell into “unconsciousness” (blackness/nowhere-ness) again.
God, Spirituality and Religion:
What importance did you place on your religious/spiritual life prior to your experience?
Slightly important to me.
What was your religion prior to your experience?
Other or several faiths. I was raised a Catholic and was attending a Lutheran church at the time.
Have your religious practices changed since your experience?
Yes. At first I couldn’t pick up a Bible or anything spiritual for about a year or two. That was weird. I think I felt that I would be transported and have more conscious NDEs. I also knew them now to be so awfully limited, I couldn’t compact myself or my soul down into a book or human physical words. I think, therefore I am. After a couple of years I then began searching for something or an organization of people who “got it” and don’t “have it all wrong.” I still find that while good intentions are out there and good-hearted beliefs, there are still flaws in all of us, and everything we create. I know that even as I write these words I’m flawed, too, and almost definitely some of my intended meanings will be misinterpreted because of my faulty explanations. Life beyond isn’t like that, because all thought is known and understood.
What importance do you place on your religious/spiritual life after your experience?
Greatly important to me.
What is your religion now?
Other or several faiths. I have an entirely different understanding of God after the experiences. I believe that all are related, and trying to pin it all down into one religion or another is missing the point. We cannot define God, whatever we wish to call it. God isn’t a person or an entity; God is undefined, fluid, existence, essence of life. Everything is a soul and spirit, even the rocks and the hills. If it is in nature, it is spirit and life. I realized especially the significance of the nature of being a soul with a body, rather than the other way around, which is the way that western religions teach it. When I came back from the experience, the words “they have it all wrong” resonated within me when thinking about major western religions. I knew that I had been with, in, and most importantly, OF the Creation and Creator; that is the life that was breathed back into my dead body, and lives in me now. I had experienced that One, I was and am the One that lives in me. I had understood in “tongues,” meaning I understood all languages and could communicate simultaneously with all. We were all one, so communication wasn’t as much linear, with one word after another like it is in the world. Thoughts and ideas flowed, but not the same way. I knew all things, strange as that sounds. It was beautiful and humbling. The God that man has made into his image is very different than the God of Life Itself. The simplest lesson that Jesus taught: We are God. Jesus got it. He understood the deepest and most significant aspect of who we are and who God is. Since my experience, My religious understanding doesn’t really align with the standard Christian or Catholic understanding I was raised with or have been a part of. The world doesn’t seem to readily embrace this concept.
Did your experience include features consistent your earthly beliefs?
Content that was both consistent and not consistent with the beliefs you had at the time of your experience. I had been skeptical about stories of near-death experiences, seeing the light, seeing one’s body, etc. That changed. Also I had learned all my life that God is separate from us and doesn’t want us to have his knowledge or immortality as described in the book of Genesis. I had different beliefs about what heaven was, about Jesus and about how believers are supposed to behave and what they’re supposed to believe. My idea of God and Jesus and Holy Spirit changed radically. I learned that we are not separate from our creator except as we choose to be separate. Consistent with my former beliefs are that the universe is created and we are part of that creation. Inconsistent with my former beliefs is that we also perpetuate the creation, that we are God. It still is difficult and a little bit scary for me to say that, because I was raised to believe that it was blasphemy for anyone to say something like that, and anyone who believes it is off their rocker, and possibly dangerous! Jesus was considered a blasphemer by his peers, too. I had always learned that God is separate, “holy,” omnipotent, demanding praise and sacrifices, and that humans are infidels, undeserving, unworthy, sinful by design. Now I know that I am God, however, an equal not a lesser. God breathed life into me and lives in me now. It’s a humbling knowledge, though. it’s also pure love. I believed in death, purgatory, and heaven/hell as a “place” you go “up there” to “live” out eternity, but I learned that isn’t the way it is. We choose life to start with, and we can choose reincarnation into this world or another world, this universe or dimension or another, and this form or a different one. We can also choose to remain in the whole Oneness, and it is all flexible, not permanent, just as this life on earth isn’t permanent, either. I have continued to receive revelations regarding religious beliefs as they have been handed down through the centuries, but here I’m relaying only what happened during the experience itself. I learned that it doesn’t matter whether Jesus was married or not, or whether or not Mary was a virgin impregnated by a spirit, or not. Those are manmade necessities for faith, somehow! Knowing God inside me, I’m not sure why it’s so important, except perhaps as an excuse to be imperfect, less than we are created to be, by saying only Jesus was perfect and sinless and born of a virgin. NO. Jesus said we are all alike; he never put himself above anyone else, and often the opposite, and taught others to do likewise. Wash each others’ feet. Serve. Humble yourself in love. Be courageous in the face of adversity. Do the right thing even if it means personal sacrifice or humiliation.
Did you have a change in your values and beliefs because of your experience?
Yes. I value life, do not fear death but rejoice in it, knowing that death is not an end but a beautiful togetherness, flexible, unending, another exciting journey. I still believe in God, but I see more clearly the exploitation of biblical knowledge for power and self-gratification by large organizations, and often by individuals. I see how insignificant our lives are as one self in comparison with the whole journey; our egos are bigger than they need to be. Humans tend to be self-important, but we really aren’t the hot shots we like to think ourselves. Our scientific knowledge has come a long way, but is still in baby steps. It’s much bigger than us. Mostly Christian idea of “heaven,” “God’s Kingdom,” etc is all wrong. When we as people love enough and harness our love, really internalizing love’s power, and believe in our godliness and holiness and magnificence in the same way, when we internalize and allow ourselves to be the creator, then we will know heaven. It’s ok to argue with God. The God of man, or man-made God is not the same as the true One presence.
The experience included: Presence of unearthly beings
Did you seem to encounter a mystical being or presence, or hear an unidentifiable voice?
I encountered a definite being, or a voice clearly of mystical or unearthly origin. I would describe it more like infinite beings that I definitely encountered. I didn’t encounter a being that was defined by physical shape. I also encountered infinite voices, and again no voice like we understand a physical or earthly voice to be. It was more like thoughts or vibrations or rhythms, rather than voices. I’m not sure about the term “mystical” either, since it didn’t seem to hold any mystery to me. It just seemed the way it is. I don’t know how to describe it. It just was. That’s it. It is; it was.
Did you see deceased or religious spirits?
I sensed their presence.
Did you encounter or become aware of any beings who previously lived on earth who are described by name in religions (for example: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha, etc.)?
Uncertain. Jesus. I don’t know how to describe it except in terms of how I was effected afterward, back in this life. I was with him, in him, a part of him when he was on the cross. The sorrow has sometimes been too overwhelming (an understatement), especially at Easter. It got to the point I couldn’t attend Easter church services because the burden and pain (not physical) was too great. The outpouring compassion and sorrow of a broken heart for souls that live in fear of truth and love. I don’t know, it can’t be expressed in words. Also the magnitude of his love that drove him to the cross, to die. His death was taken with immense and unalterable love, even for those who tortured and killed him. I encountered Adam & Eve and Abraham.
During your experience, did you gain information about premortal existence?
Yes. It was more of a knowing that life was infinite, without beginning and without end, that my time on earth is but a speck, a moment, a very short time relative to the whole.
During your experience, did you gain information about universal connection or oneness?
Yes, I encountered awareness in being one with the universe and with all things, especially as one with the Creator and all that is created.
Did you believe in the existence of God prior to your experience?
God probably exists.
During your experience, did you gain information about the existence of God?
Yes, God or a supreme being exists; the irony of that is that we are all a part of that one supreme being, which is our home where the heart of us originates and lives, but separated from it by our earthly physical vessels (bodies). God is supreme, but we are God, so we are also supreme, but don’t know it. Somehow fear separates us from embracing our true origin and existence. Where I went there was no fear. No worry. I felt more a sense of curiosity, a kind of “so this is what it’s like!” Just being in the moment. Here I am. Part of the universal knowledge was understanding earthly sorrow left behind. But there it was all beauty, not in a physical or visual sense of beauty because where I was there was no color or shape, yet in the sense of emotion and knowledge wrapped into one that I can’t possibly put into words. Pure joy, pure peace, pure love, purity itself that was love.
Do you believe in the existence of God after your experience?
God definitely exists.
Concerning our Earthly lives other than Religion:
During your experience, did you gain special knowledge or information about your purpose?
Yes. The infinity, oneness, flexibility, omniscience of all beings; that it is our physical bodies that separate us from the One that we are, as water poured from a pitcher into individual glasses, where we stay until we die and return to the whole. Another knowledge was all languages, spoken and unspoken. The purpose I received was to circulate this knowledge, and the love, to get it to as many ears and reach as many souls as humanly possible, and then some. Knowledge that love is the purpose, or that the purpose of love, is life. Love doesn’t come from life, but the other way around: life comes from love. Love is first, and generates life. Love is the breath.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience?
Are meaningful and significant.
During your experience, did you gain information about the meaning of life?
No . I wish I had because it would’ve made returning to life here easier. Generally, though, I received information/awareness that the purpose and meaning is love. Love expands the universe and love is the connection, but it isn’t “love” as in specific one-on-one relationship love, but rather a universal philanthropy that covers all, embraces and digests all so that all oneness is love.
Did you believe in an afterlife prior to your experience?
I was uncertain if an afterlife exists.
Do you believe in an afterlife after your experience?
An afterlife definitely exists, yes. Yes, definitely, although it’s hard to describe. I just know it, I experienced it. I “met” millions of lives who were living it.
Did you fear death prior to your experience?
I slightly feared death.
Do you fear death after your experience?
I do not fear death.
Were you fearful living your life prior to your experience?
Not fearful in living my earthly life.
Were you fearful living your life after your experience?
Not fearful in living my earthly life.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant prior to your experience?
Are meaningful and significant.
Did you believe that our earthly lives are meaningful and significant after your experience?
Are not meaningful and significant.
Did you gain information about how to live our lives?
Yes. I encountered information that human interpretation of biblical or religious nature is often wrong, made by man and described or explained for man in human terms, but mostly wrong. That our human minds are young and frail and underdeveloped, almost primitive; that our lives are merely a moment in universal time, and we are like specks of dust, or merely cells all making up the one universal Creator. The only redemption we have on earth is love. Love is what makes us: we ARE love, it’s what we are made of, not something we do. I encountered information that we are literally Jesus’ brothers and sisters like he tried to tell his followers in his time. I learned his message was very much simpler than mankind has since made it. We are God. We come to this earth in human form and then begin to mold ourselves in to human likeness, taint ourselves with human habits. Jesus was no less human than we are; he chose to stay connected with God above everything else, and teach what he knew, even at the risk of death, but what he knew and tried to teach was not as difficult as we since have made it out to be. The Christian cycle of life is really not much different than Israel’s cycle of defeat and faith in the Old Testament. Christians have the same, almost identical fallacies, just by a different name. Jesus warned his followers at the time, to not fall under the same human tragedy that his forefathers and peers had done, exploiting God and religion. His message was so simple, but it’s been twisted and turned and exploited in the same way. And the earth will cycle as it’s always done.
During your experience, did you gain information about life’s difficulties, challenges and hardships?
Uncertain. It just seemed natural, that if faced and conquered with purity of heart that all difficulties, challenges and hardships are conquered through universal love/purity.
Were you compassionate prior to your experience?
Slightly compassionate toward others.
During your experience, did you gain information about love?
Were you compassionate after your experience?
Greatly compassionate toward others.
What life changes occurred in your life after your experience?
Large changes in my life. The way I view life and understand our existence is different. For several years afterward I’ve had a hard time with motivation for this world because so much we place value on seems trite. I’ve known what I’ve known, but also not having had much understanding or support around me, I’ve tried to go back to “normal” and feel I’ve been living untrue to myself. Sometimes my faith is complete, and other times I get caught up in what the world thinks and accepts, mainly because of my custody issues with my kids and ex-husband. They are getting older now, though, and I feel I can and want to finally speak out and live out.
Have your relationships changed specifically because of your experience?
They may have changed for a time, or superficially. I’ve changed inside and that makes things more difficult because inside I’m not who I was, but outwardly I’ve tried to be no different. I hasn’t worked. I think I was overwhelmed before I understood the full purpose and how to handle it with others.
After the NDE:
Was the experience difficult to express in words?
Yes. With this answer I will also answer the following two questions, which for my experience can’t be answered by those answers provided. The experience is almost impossible to express in words. Even the best expressions are far too limited, even expressions like “love” or “peace” or “joy” are just too banal. It was purely being, and all that that encompasses. Yes it’s difficult to express. Likewise, to say my thoughts were speeded up would be inaccurate since we express and experience time in a timeline that goes from A to B, linear I guess. All thoughts were as one, simultaneous yet clear. They simply were, and I understood. It was more like layering yet also flowing. So I guess that would be most like “incredibly fast” even though I don’t think that describes it properly. Same with question 7 below. We didn’t have senses in the usual sense of the word, so to try to capture it with this question is inaccurate at best. Just as all things were understood at once, so were all things touched. There was no limit or place where I ended and someone or something else began. We were one, inseparable, independent but not separate. On the other hand, my regular thoughts about myself seemed about normal speed: curious, interested.
How accurately do you remember the experience in comparison to other life events that occurred around the time of the experience?
I remember the experience more accurately than other life events that occurred around the time of the experience.
Do you have any psychic, non-ordinary or other special gifts after your experience that you did not have before the experience?
Yes. I definitely have the gift of healing that I did not have before the experience. I had a little psychic ability both before and after, but I haven’t developed them as much as I wanted to until now. They are there anyway, and I sometimes receive directives where or on whom to lay hands.
Are there one or several parts of your experience that are especially meaningful or significant to you?
The entire experience, as well as the premonitions before and revelations after are meaningful and significant. Much of it beforehand I didn’t really understand, though, and I do now. There was a tree outside my window at the hospital after I woke up and was well enough to move from ICU to PCU to finish recovery before being discharged. That tree was exceptionally significant. My sister-in-law Joan who was holding my hand and wouldn’t give up on me and insisting she felt me squeeze when I did, was very meaningful. The presence next to me after I woke up and was in ICU was significant. The people from Flight 93 have stayed with me. It was all very significant. Probably most significant was being with my uncle when he passed.
Have you ever shared this experience with others?
Yes. Some of it I shared almost immediately, like when I realized I was the only person of my relations who knew that my uncle had passed. At first I wondered why nobody was talking about it, why hadn’t anyone mentioned it? Then I realized they didn’t know, and my suspicions were confirmed when I asked what happened to him, and they didn’t know what I was talking about, except my mom told me later that she had heard him call out to her in her sleep, just like she had heard me call out to her during her sleep before anyone called her to tell her what was happening to me. I had to recover physically before I could say much, though. Everyone around me was very solicitous after I came to, and I wondered what all the fuss was about. I had personally had quite a ride and missed the flurry of commotion and anguish about my physical condition. I can’t imagine what my sons and mom and siblings must have been feeling. I did share with the nurses who were tending to me, though, probably more so than I did with my immediate family. I don’t know if it was my experience or their experience that changed them more, but I would have to say that more than several were impacted and influenced by the experience. Many had not believed in a Christian God and the power of prayer, but after all medical avenues had been exhausted and I shouldn’t have lived, and even more shouldn’t have by medical standards, healed, well, it changed a lot of lives because my doctor, after having nothing more left, told his wife to tell her friends, told the nurses, family, and staff, everyone and anyone, to pray for me because it was all that was left to do, it changed many lives when I lived and healed. My best friend Susan and my sons Robert and Ben, and my sister-in-law Joan as well as my older sister Kit were the people I could really talk to about it all, and still can.
Did you have any knowledge of near death experience (NDE) prior to your experience?
Uncertain. I had only heard about people supposedly dying and “seeing a light” and knew that there was skepticism in the medical or scientific community that anyone could actually die and be reborn or resurrected, and had all kinds of fantastic scientific explanations about what “the light” really must be. So when I was there at the point of no return, I found myself thinking about the things I’d heard about seeing a light, and I thought to myself that if I wanted to right then, and it were true that there was a light at death, then right then if I wanted to, I would see it. For a split second I was curious to “look” to see if that’s how it really happened, and in the same instant knew that if I chose to “look,” I would not come back. I “shouted” to myself, “NO WAY! I am not EVEN curious, I’M ONLY 40 YEARS OLD: I STILL HAVE WAY TOO MUCH TO DO!!!” and I sensed myself struggling and then I lost the unearthly consciousness. I think that must have been when I re-entered my dead body. I sensed God’s breath granting my choice to live; God entered my dead body and filled my life with his life. He/she lives, not me.
What did you believe about the reality of your experience shortly (days to weeks) after it happened?
Experience was definitely real. The reality was that I was dead, and then alive. When I came to and was still in a coma, unable to feel my body or control it in any way, yet as conscious and thinking as I am right now, I wondered that I was really that bad off when my sister-in-law Joan was holding my hand telling me to squeeze if I could hear her. I’d had no awareness of everything going on in this world; I was gone out somewhere else. But I went brain-dead again and had more NDEs before I woke up for good in this world. As I mentioned, I was the only local relative who knew about my uncle’s demise in Pennsylvania. That was pretty surreal, too. I don’t know how to explain why or how I viewed the reality of the experience. I didn’t really think about whether it was real or not; it was, I was there, it’s that knowing that’s part of the experience itself. It’s more sure than anything else. It’s almost more tangible than this life is. It’s more significant, more lovely, more real. Everything so crisp and alive, you feel the pulse of the universe; you hear it’s breath; you’re aware of all the dimensions and time-zones and lack thereof. There is nothing on earth like it.
What do you believe about the reality of your experience now?
Experience was definitely real, same as above. I’ve tested it, pondered various possibilities but they never add up. I’ve been back to talk with my doctors and nurses several times about the experience. It changed their lives, too.
(Thank you to YusufIslamOfficial at YouTube)